I love chocolate - there's no doubt about that. Since I stopped drinking alcohol, chocolate (among other vices) has become my drug. There's something about it's sweet, creamy nature that makes me come back for more. I'm not fussy, either. A great high end like Knipschildt or Noka is stupendous, but I'm also happy with a Snicker's Bar or a pack of M + Ms, peanuts or plain.
I also love love, or the idea of it, especially romantic love. There's nothing like a new love to make my insides quiver, my pulse quicken, and the world, boring and bothersome as it is much of the time, to appear to be a new and strange place. Now that is one of the greatest miracles known to humankind.
Today is Valentine's Day - the perfect day to combine my favorite loves, chocolate and love. But this year there is no combining the two. There is no love in my life, neither new or old. There is just me, and I am quite content not to be bound to someone else. I hear so many people despairing about how they would love to have someone in their lives for Valentine's Day, but I'm telling you, count your blessings if you don't. Ask your married friends - the ones who have been married for five years or more. Sure they'll say that marriage is great, but buy them a couple of drinks, and see what really comes forth. See who's smiling now.
Perhaps next year, a year after my relationship has ended, I'll be singing a different song, but for now I'm content not to have filled out some silly card, bought a dozen ridiculous roses, or spent a fortune on high-end chocolates that I wouldn't be eating myself. No, I can just lay back and let the rest of them squirm and waste their money. Happily, I will eat my chocolates alone.
Love and chocolate, I tend to use one as a substitute for the other. I love your observations, they really fitted my mood today. I dug out this fragment & polished it a bit. It's not a Blues, never performed, thought I'd share it anyhow:
ReplyDeleteUNSUNG SONG
When red rose petals line the gutters
Shreds of heart balloons lie burst
Champagne bottles stand so empty,
Feelings of love submersed,
There'll still be more of friendship
Loose folded ribbons paired
No knotted ties, no hooks and eyes,
No 'ever thine' declared...
It was a late afternoon post. VD was in its final stages, I almost didn't want to say anything, but why not? I love your lyrics. It seems, where love is concerned, when it's all over, all you have are the remnants. And maybe that's true of all things in life. These days I'm cautious of using any term that applies 'for ever' because it's all meant to fade away.
ReplyDeleteRemnants...you can store them in memory or in a keepsake box, they're little reminders of good things that were beautifully enjoyed. Forever though is fabric flowers, plastic replicas, statuary and heavy immovable objects. Ephemeral and transient can be so much more beautiful because they don't last forever in any physical sense. I'm keep returning to wondering how that relates to love and relationships. Me wanting 'forever' is maybe no more good for me than unlimited potato chips, chocolate or sparkling wine. What would I do with a blank love check? Would I cash it? I would say that there are always 'terms and conditions' that 'apply 'but then I'm usually told 'What I'm picking up from you is that you find commitment threatening'. My commitment to my friends is pretty unconditional...maybe what I want is true love without ties. Ironically, lack of barriers and fences usually makes me want to stay and belong:)
ReplyDeleteHugs, Jane
All you say is very healthy and real. Maybe it's me who cannot form lasting relationships, or doesn't want to (at least in the present). That's something I need to explore - maybe from a fiction p.o.v, that's motivation for a main character... Maybe I'm still resentful about my ex; maybe the way she slammed the door in my face without allowing for De-briefing has really irked me. It's quite possible that it has spilled over into my views about love in general. To my credit, I have always been good at separating my p.o.v. from others, and not foisting it on others... Jane, you deserve to have committed love. You are a wonderful, caring, and loving person. But perfect love is so hard to find. I don't know if it really exists. Committed love exists, but that's about compromise. What are the chances of two people forming a bond, and sticking with it? There's statistics...
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