John, I'm Only Dancing, but not really Dating...

     If I was really dating, I'd have a full-time job, and I would not be in the process of transitioning from Seattle to Connecticut. The job search is a full-time job, and it does remind me of finding a relationship. Send resume. They check it out. If they like what they see, they contact you. If they like what they hear, they grant you an interview. And if they like what they see and hear, you get an offer. My search for coffee-dates on Craigslist is much the same. Post an ad or respond to someone's ad. If they like what they hear and see (granted you've included a pic), they email you. It goes back and forth until someone gets disinterested or someone finally says, "Shall we meet for coffee."

   Yesterday, was a wonderful day CL and real life-wise. While at a favorite Starbucks the night before, I sent messages to several woman's posts on the CL NYC Woman for Man offerings. To my great delight, a very beautiful woman answered my call. I looked at her pictures. She was in her 20's, with the complexion of luscious espresso; hair, long, flowing down to the mid of her back like a dark waterfall; shapely butt and breasts that were accentuated by just the right tightness of skirt and shirt, perfectly color-coordinated; she wore a sexy red pair of strap-on heels, and you just knew by the quality and styling of the fabrics of clothing that she had to be involved in fashion in some way, shape, or form. She also met the camera with the most lovely and disarming smile this side of Cutie-Pettootie. I was hooked.

     That's all nice and good, but I hadn't shared a photo with her. Let's face the music, I'm middle-aged, about 30lbs overweight, and at 5'7", have always been cute, but not really handsome. Them's the cards, but even to this day, I curse God, and say, why not just 2 or 3 inches more. When people say, good things come in small packages, or it's all about personality or intelligence, or some other beatitude that's supposed to make you feel better, you know it's bullshit. In the world of on-line dating height often does matter.  Have you ever seen a woman make the announcement, "Tall guys need not apply."  Or "Looking for someone 5'9" and under?" I really didn't give it much thought. I just sent the photo, and went away to do something else. I've learned not to take this game too seriously.

     An hour later. I got a reply. I chuckled like anyone who discovers a 20 dollar bill on the ground. Her response was, "I'm still in college but I majoring in Business and Fashion Marketing .. But I must say it sounds like you have accomplished a quite lot in your life... very nice :)"

     This is a very good sign, but you have to play it right. Do you feign ennui, and don't respond until the next day, or hours later. Is this someone who is really genuine, who is not only physically beautiful, but is also spiritually developed? It's like knowing you're close to The Holy Grail.

     I gave it a bit of thought. "To thine own self be true," were the words that rang though my head. I wasn't looking for a relationship or a dating situation. Like I said, I'm still in transition, and I need to take care of the basics first. But a date with a stunning, intelligent, soulful woman - now that is as dreamed of, hoped for, and as sought after as having a drink with the ghosts of William Faulkner and Papa Hemingway together. So I did what I normally and naturally do, I sent an almost immediate reply.

     It was, "I have. But there's been up and downs, nothing's perfect. I recently moved from Seattle to Fairfield to be closer to my family. My step father has Alzheimer's and is at home.... I broke up with a girlfriend of almost 4 years, but I think it was for the best. I'm enjoying my transition to this area. Where do you go to school? What do you like to do for fun?"

     Within a short time another response came, "I go to St. Johns and I'm not much of a Party girl but I do like to party My fun right now consists of school and working and I work as a Model for A&F .. So what were you looking for and when are you free to meet up?"

     I felt good - no, I felt great, like a batter must feel when he's on a 30 game hitting streak. You could throw anything at me,  and I was still going to hit it.  I was feeling like my giddy ol' silly self, and I was going to say exactly what I wanted to say.....

"I hope your work is also fun.....

What was I looking for? I was looking for meeting a woman who inspires poems and can talk about the merits of dive bars as well as her favorite painting at the Museum of Mod Art.... Someone who puts herself on a run-way, stage, or improvised stage of a cafe to read bits and pieces of her latest machinations of mind whether be fiction, non, or diary because she must... I was looking for someone to share commonalities and differences that connect and disonnect us to this world... Share a laugh, perhaps.... A cup of coffee... No great expectations.... A chance to meet a great person."

     I was not thinking at that point, I was so happy, and since I knew she was involved with Fashion and probably watched "Project Runway," I threw in this tidbit....

"I was looking for someone who thinks Tim Gunn (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Gunn) and Joe Girardi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Girardi) are both great leaders, teachers, and motivators of people..."

     I didn't get a response. An hour passed, two hours passed, but still none came. I went from being that silly, giddy 17 teen-year-old-esque boy to the sober 40-something man who's been through two marriages, several significant relationships, and a slew of dating experiences. I can't say I felt bad-bad, but it was a slight let-down. I fired off a semi-apologetic email (which according to be-true-to-thyself, I shouldn't have), but that was 18 hours ago, and in the world of on-line dating, that is years ago...