Patience

Up until Monday, it was a lusciously liberating time. The anxiety and stress that existed was gone. There was still the knowledge that all was not over, but it was a welcome break, and I was reveling in it. Monday, it all ended.

I tried to remain open to change. I did my best to maintain hope. I said, give it a week, then make a judgement. Maybe things will change? But it's hard for old habits to die, and I knew she, most of all, is very resistant. It's not her nature to admit to the reality of things. She has a vision, and she will stick to it no matter what. I find that way very depressing, and so, I felt depressed with their return.

For the first few days, she seemed to slow down and back off, then I came back from work on Wednesday. She was systematically setting the table in the way she envisioned it should be. I cringed. It was just the tip of the iceberg. To the unacquainted eye, it's an act of generosity, but for those who really know her, it's a way to control. Everything has to be the way she wants it. If not, she will do what it takes to wrestle that control away. The whole business is exhausting.

I've made a pledge not to get into with her. It only reflects badly on me. I will do my best to help, but I will not submit to the wackiness. I'm present for certain duties, but detached for others. That's how I will get through the next few months, and it's not entirely Hell. Certainly, I remain open to positive outcomes. I will do my best to contribute to those. Patience is a virtue, and I am learning.