Morning Blues

I finished my first week of my new contact, and it was as smooth as could be. Week one is always the honeymoon week. No day at a job is usually easier than the first or no week head-ache free as the first. Tomorrow starts week two, and the real work, though from what I've been briefed, the assignment is relatively easy. Even so, those little voices of doubt seems to rise up, and put a knot in my stomach and a freeze my heart. This is how I woke up this morning.

Remembering the past and bad times, I became stiff, and wished the sun would set, and night would fall. In stressful times, I hate the morning. I prefer seeing the sun sink below the horizon as it takes the worries and problems of the day with it. Morning represents rising up and facing those terrors. As I thought about this, I nearly had a stomach ache. I had to remind myself that this is a new contract, a new day, and the past is over. I thought of the Dog Whisperer and what he said about the subject. He said something to the effect of, what you experienced in the past is in the past, don't let it dictate to the present. I have to remind myself of this - too often I've let those little voices of doubt hand cuff me, and bring me down. In the end, nothing fruitful comes of it.

Instead of wasting the morning away, I got up, and got dressed. I'd love to live my life worry-free, but I know that isn't reality. I figure the best thing I can do is rise up and meet those challenges - that way I'll defeat the worry. Perhaps, little by little, I'll become so well practiced in the process that the process will over shadow the worry, and I'll actually see it as something joyful. That's my wish. That's my prayer. Today, I plan to enjoy a lovely walk. Tomorrow will take care of tomorrow.