I take the gift and run with it. Let it be for what it is. What if? What will be? Where do we go from here? We do not know. It is a journey of faith, which means losing control, and giving into the unknown.
In the past, I struggled with balance. How do I fuel the relationship without taking away from me? If I do not call or meet, will the other lose interest, and move on? I tried too hard to make things right. I did what I thought the other needed, and neglected my side of the story. In the end, those relationships fell to pieces anyways.
They say, take it slow. What does that really mean? I think it means, if you feel like calling or meeting, do so, if you don't or have things that need taking care of, don't. I think it means trusting yourself and the other person enough to be able to have time together and time apart, and know that you will return to each other. It means being able to let go as well as say, I need you, I want you. This is a difficult lesson, but I'm learning.
Your thought provoking post made me think. The lessons we think we learned when young and dating are often the wrong ones. We learn to polish, present, hide flaws, please, be eager and impetuous. As a Trans woman understanding the rules from the opposite side it's doubly difficult and too easy to fall into snares and traps which lead nowhere. I have come to wonder in any case whether I want a relationship based on attraction or on loving the inner person. The former suits the classic dating game and has left me bruised and hurt so often. The latter starts with friendship and mutual regard and leads enticingly to something more. Thanks for pointing out the signposts and some of be route Monkkey.... As always you write succinctly and precisely, wasting no words in unfolding a truth, you have a true writer's gift. X
ReplyDeleteWhen we were young, there was no urgency of time. It seemed to flow like the tide of a river. Tomorrow was a series of mountain ranges and valleys to be traversed at leisure. Today I stand on top of one peak, and, in the distance, vaguely make out the end of my journey. I know what I like, and what I don't like. I know my limits. I know that a relationship isn't mine alone, it's shared. The other one and I have expectations, but modifications can be made. There is no do or die, but we know when things must end. We do not linger if all is lost. There is too much life to live, but life is not to be wasted - that is no longer our realm.
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