I'm pretty sure the posting was under the Platonic Section for a Woman seeking a Man. It's hard to know now because the posting has been deleted, but I'm almost certain that it was the case. It was a long, treatise-like piece of writing. I must have just skimmed through it, and thought, this is very well conceived. The woman who wrote it seems quite intelligent, so I'll respond to it, and I received a reply from Alex Alexis. She said, yes, let's meet. After a series of emails, we settled on a time and a place.
I went to the rendezvous quite content on making a new friend. I was open to dating or a relationship, but my goal was truly companionship. As a seasoned veteran of Craigslist hopes and realities, I waited with a sense of curious joy, knowing that this was an adventure of sorts, and that all expectations must be chuckled at. It was like waiting for a stand-up comic to perform at an open mic. Most likely the only laughter you'd experience would be your own laughter at the comic who was only funny because he or she didn't realize how unfunny they were.
My head was buried in my laptop. I was amusing myself with a video by The Nuns on YouTube. From the corners of my eyes, I saw a form edging slowly towards me. I looked up. The woman had broad shoulders. She was slim, but solidly built. She had a strong jaw-line, long dyed-black hair tied in a pony tail. Her face was reminiscent of a Mel Gibson in his early-forties, very good looking. There was a coppery tone to her complexion. The eye brows and eyes lashes were extra dark. Her lips bore the last remnants of baby pink lipstick - she'd probably just wiped them with a Kleenex. This was not a woman, but a man.
I stood up. "Please, have a seat," I said, motioning him to the chair across the table. We shook hands, then sat down. I offered to buy him a drink, but he said he didn't want one. Our conversation was long and pleasant. He was originally from Ontario, but had spent a good deal of time in the southeast corner of Ireland before coming to the States. He worked with unprivileged youth in some capacity. He didn't say exactly what he did, and I didn't press him. He was well-steeped in the Histories of the U.S, England, and Canada, as well as Politics and the Economics of Capitalism and Communism. When I asked him if he'd studied Economics, he said, in a rather cryptic manner, that he had studied many subjects.
I was so engaged and so pleased with the flow of conversation that I'd unconsciously come to think of Alex as something of a new friend. I had completely forgotten that it takes two to have a conversation, and that my reasons for meeting might be different from his. Suddenly, his demeanor became serious, a bit tentative, even twitchy. I was shaken out of my pleased state, and put on guard.
"I don't know how thoroughly you read my posting, but I'm looking for certain things in particular. I have them listed, and I go into detail about each one," Alex said. I nodded. Here we go, I thought, here's the sales pitch. Everyone's looking for something, and most of the time, it's not just coffee and conversation.
"When I hook up with someone, I like to give it my all," he continued. "And in order for me to do that, it takes a lot of time and energy to get myself looking just right. And when I do, it is a sight to behold. I like to do everything just so, so that when I give him a blow job, it's a rock your world experience. I'm not gay. I'm not straight. I consider myself to be a sensualist."
So this is what a girl feels like when she's been nice to a guy, and he misinterprets the message, I thought. I didn't want to end the conversation, but I didn't want a blow job, either.
"I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want," I replied. I told him I appreciated who he was as a person, and how I enjoyed the delightful and inspired conversation. It had been a long time since I'd conversed with someone and really, really been captivated and had learned things that were not just of a trivial nature. He went on to say that he thought that really good sex was intellectual because it was about challenging someone, not just seeking agreement. I could see that to a small point, but sex was of the body, and all I could see in my mind was an image of Albert Schweitzer reciting a thesis while receiving a blow job. I tried my best not to chuckle.
I was hoping Alex and I could meet again, but he seemed luke-warm about that. As he said, I had answered his ad, and he did have certain expectations. I did feel a bit guilty for not having read it carefully. But later, I thought, how well had he represented himself? After all, he posted in the Platonic Section for a Women seeking a Men, and he was not a woman. Oh, well, nothing's perfect. Who am I to judge? Sometimes, we must take our coffee and conversation anyway we can get it.
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